Alone in the Dark

The beginning and the end. Full circle.

Bathed in shadows made by candlelight, I face the night alone. Alone, utterly, existentially alone. Must be destiny's finally caught up with the lone stranger who rode into town a dozen lifetimes ago. Wrapped in bandages, I awoke cloaked in darkness, alone. No name, no past, nothing but empty space.

I watch the flame as it flickers and dances to the invisible winds that blow through me. A tiny light in the vast darkness that surrounds me. She was that light for me. But now she's gone. I made her leave because I knew it couldn't last forever.

Vague images from a past I can't remember come back to haunt me deep in the darkest part of the night.

Lesson number one: Life is about pain and loss.
Lesson number two: Get busy and do something.

But when the job is finished, there it is again. Pain. Thick, ugly, black pain. Always the pain returns. Black like the night sky, Black like a name I found on a war memorial. Black to the depths of my soul.

Black.

Glimpses of light filtered through to tempt me, made me believe. Sun worshipped blond hair, gold flecked eyes that drew me in. Foolishly, forgetting my destiny as the son of darkness, I let her touch me and I killed her. His son, in every way but blood. Or so he said. Should have known.

Pawn, captive, soldier, cop, thief, killer, Priest. There were other words but in the end they're all the same. He owned me, he controlled me. He was the master and I the slave, a gladiator going into battle at his command.

He sent me to her, and although I was there, he was the one who destroyed the dream. It was all a grand illusion, that sweet dream we shared for a moment out of time. And now comes the night, and the darkness, and the pain.

The gun feels cold in my hand. Only one round in the chamber. I am ready.

Alone in the dark.

The end and the beginning. Full circle.