AFTER THE FALL
Roman, Bo, and Abe were sitting in Abe's office with the door open, when they heard a familiar sound. Roman knew it instantly and identified it for the others, "That sounds like Marlena... she must have gone down to see John to tell him about being asked to testify. Even though she pretty much ended it with him a long time ago, I'm sure that wasn't easy. I'll go after her..."
Bo nodded, while Abe smiled weakly and
said, "Sure, Roman... we'll be right here." Both Abe and Bo knew his
wishes where Marlena was concerned and generally supported his efforts. Abe
wanted to have his old friend back, but he also wanted Marlena to find
happiness again, and if Roman was the one who could give her that, Abe would
welcome it. Bo was definitely rooting for his older brother's success.
Roman nodded and went off without
another word, hoping that this would be the time he made some true inroads to
her heart.
Bo was shaking his head as he looked at
the file of information about the prisoner on all their minds. "John... in
jail and charged with vehicular homicide... what a mess he's made of things...
huh?"
"You know I never would have
believed it was possible... even... six months ago, but now... there's really
no question about it, I know he's guilty, " Abe added sadly, sitting on
the corner of his desk and staring toward the door.
Smiling almost triumphantly, Bo made a
proclamation, "Yep... and he's going down for it... John Black, inmate at
the Illinois State Correctional Facility.... kinda has a nice ring to it."
"Oh, come Bo... I know you're angry
with him and so am I, but he doesn't really deserve that. Marlena thinks he's
not totally responsible for what's been happening. She thinks he needs therapy
to deal with the damage Stefano has done to his brain... that maybe the
mercenary personality has taken control over him. "
He scoffed, "Yea... right! Another
lame excuse for his criminal behavior. He's had her on a string so long she
can't see reality anymore, Abe. "
Standing to face his friend and fellow
cop, Abe argued the point further wishing it to be true, "Bo, Marlena can
be objective about something like this. If she says he needs help instead of
prison, I believe her."
"No, Abe... John has changed....
there's no doubt about it, but the blame for everything that's happened should
be placed squarely on his shoulders. He screwed up his *own* life, with no help
from Dimera. HE was the one who lied to all of us, and when Marlena got angry
and cut him loose, he was the one who decided to turn to the bottle for
companionship. So what if he's alone now, sitting in a jail cell wallowing in a
misery of his own making. I have NO sympathy left for him, Abe!"
There was nothing more to be said. It
was up to the independent evaluators and the courts to decide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Roman raced down the hallway and caught
up with his ex-wife as she reached the front door of the precinct building,
grasping her arm to stop her forward progress. "Marlena... wait...
please... talk to me, Doc... I know you're hurting. "
She turned part of the way toward him
and it was obvious that she'd been weeping heavily. 'Crying over John Black. Damn that selfish prick!' He hurt her
again... probably playing games with her head.
"Roman, please.....I don't want to
talk to you right now.... I need
some... time," she said, laboring to shut down the production of tears.
"Marlena... I thought you were...
filing for divorce... You told me you wanted to... "
"I know what I said, Roman....
but.... things are..."
"Complicated?" he said, unable
to hide a trace of sarcasm.
That wasn't what she was going to say,
but since it was accurate, she agreed, a weary sigh escaping as she replied,
"Yes.... very complicated. Now please... if you care about me, Roman,
you'll let me go. I have some... thinking to do. "
"Alright.... I just hope he didn't hurt you again."
Her face started to change....a strange
new light appeared behind her eyes, one that had been missing for a long many
months and she said with a slightly bemused expression, "No.... he didn't
hurt me, Roman... he.... surprised me."
"Surprised you.... how?" Roman
asked, wondering what he could have done to affect her so powerfully after all
those months apart.
Surmising that he was going to press her
for more, Marlena put some distance between them and tried to end the
questioning. "I've already said too much... please, Roman..... I have to
go now. I have some.... arrangements to make."
Now he was confused, "But,
Marlena... I don't understand... what's this all about?"
"Later, Roman... I'll tell you
later. Trust me."
The look on her face told him not to
push her. With a discomfitted sigh, he nodded and did as she asked,
"Alright.... but... please take care of yourself, Doc..."
She fully met his gaze for the first
time since the conversation began. Smiling warmly with gratitude, she took his
hands in hers for a moment; giving them a gentle squeeze, and said softly,
"I will.... and thank you, Roman.... for being available these past
several months... it means a lot that you were there for me to lean on when I
felt like my whole world was falling apart. Your friendship means so much to
me."
'Friendship....' God how he
hated when she said that word. It felt like she'd just stabbed him straight
through the heart. He tried to hide his disappointment, but couldn't quite keep
himself from wincing in response to her last comment or hesitating to return the
sentiment being expressed. "Me too, Doc... your... friendship means a lot
to me too... I'll uh... see you later then...."
There was nothing more to say. He
finally seemed to have caught her meaning and maybe that was going to be the
end of it. "Yes...goodbye, Roman."
"Bye, Doc...." She turned away
and rushed on down the steps toward her car, knowing that Roman stayed and
watched until he could see her no longer. He was hurting now too, but it simply
couldn't be helped. John was still her husband and her primary responsibility
was to him, especially after what had just transpired, whatever that was
exactly. Marlena needed time to sort through the details of the conversation as
well as the complex emotional reaction stimulated by the intense encounter with
John. Something had definitely changed
for her; that was all she really knew.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few minutes later, Roman was slowly
entering Abe's office wearing a bewildered and obviously disconcerted look on
his face.
Bo wasted no time in going for
specifics, "Roman, what happened? Did you see her, did you talk to
her?"
Sitting down in the wooden chair next to
the desk, Roman nodded as he worked his brain to recall the details of the
interaction, having still been focused on the feelings communicated. "Uh
yea... She uh... she said she needed some time... that he surprised her somehow
and she needed time to think."
"Surprised her, how?" Abe
asked, his curiosity aroused.
"I don't know.... she said she had
some kind of... arrangements to make, and asked me to let her go."
"Arrangements... what the heck is
going on here?" Bo asked, wondering what she could be thinking.
"You don't think she meant....
trying to break him out, do you?" Abe asked, afraid to even voice it.
Without thinking, Bo blurted out a response, "No, come on.. not Marlena... and John's not....."
Bo had stopped talking and Abe was
nodding, reminding himself that things had changed drastically, "Or at
least he didn't used to be like that anyway.... Roman... you didn't answer
me."
Fully back in the present, Roman didn't
bother to hide his anger and frustration with the situation they were facing,
"I don't know, partner... but I'm sure as hell going to find out. If John
is just messing with her head... using their history....and playing on her
sympathy... I'm gonna nail his ass to the wall!"
"Roman.... you have to trust
her....." Abe said strongly, understanding why Roman was upset. He thought
he was making progress, but she'd just turned him away in favor of her
connection to the man in the jail cell two floors below them.
"I do trust her, and I used to know
what kind of man *he* was. No matter how angry and resentful I was that she
fell in love with him, I finally let her go because it was obvious that he
loved her with every ounce of his soul. And I *knew* that he would never hurt
her. But that's all changed now, Abe. He'll do almost anything to get what he
wants, including manipulating her into helping him get out of this mess he's
put himself in."
His brother agreed completely,
"Roman's right, Abe.... there's nothing we can do for John. Dimera owns
his soul again.... the only thing we can do now is protect the people who still
love the lying bastard."
"No... come on... you know that the
man we've seen.. he just isn't the man we know. Stefano did something to him...
there has to be an explanation for all of this!"
Roman cared for his friend and he knew
how much it hurt Abe to think that John had betrayed them all without the
direct influence of Stefano Dimera. Placing a hand on his buddy's shoulder, he
spoke evenly, calmly and convincingly, "Abe... I know you want to believe
that, and I understand. He hurt you... he hurt all of us, but the fact is, John
destroyed his life all on his own. Stefano had nothing to do with it this time.
There's no doubt Dimera took advantage of the situation, but he didn't
manufacture it."
Abe Carver didn't want to hear that. He
believed in John Black, he trusted in the man's basic goodness. Abe had stood
beside him while he wept in fear that Marlena had been killed and he watched as
John paced in agony, wondering where Dimera had taken her for the umpteenth
time. No, he would *not* believe that the man down in the cell was the John
Black he had known as well as any brother ever could. "No... you're wrong....
both of you... he is a *good* man.. I know it in my soul... I have stood by his
side when he was out of his mind with fear for her more times than I can even
count, and I've seen him risk his life and his sanity without thinking twice
about it. The John Black that I know loves her with all his heart, and what
we've seen this past year... that's Stefano Dimera's doing. I'd stake my life
on it!"
Roman continued to confront his best
friend, cognizant that this was an important issue for all of them to resolve.
"You go on... keep living in a dream world, partner. But John had choices
to make, Abe... and he chose to go back to Dimera... emotionally vulnerable or
not, John walked in there of his own free will.."
"Because he thought he had nothing
left!"
Next it was Bo, who was much less
forgiving, getting in Abe's face hoping he would listen just this once,
"Oh yea, poor Johnny Black.... rejected by everyone he loved because of
HIS lies..... so he goes to Stefano for sympathy? Come on, Abe... open your eyes!
He went back because he was already changing.... he *wanted* to return to that
life.... Marlena kicking him out was just the excuse he needed."
Shaking his head again, Abe kept on
defending his friend, though he found it getting harder and harder as time went
by, "No, Bo.... he was devastated by that! It wrecked him.... you saw what
he was like back then..."
"Yea... so he drank himself into
oblivion... Face it, Abe... for whatever reason, the man we used to know is
gone! John Black, Salem's hero is dead!"
There was no way they would come to
agreement and Abe decided to give it up, heaving a long heavy sigh, "Maybe
that's true and maybe it's not. But if Marlena thinks she can help him, I'm
going to do everything in my power to give her that chance!"
"Fine..... but you'll be doing it
without me or Roman. I'm glad to be testifying against him! He's going to
prison, Abe... State prison and there's not a *damn* thing you can do about
it!"
Roman was silent on that matter,
although he too had been called upon to testify against John Black because of
his behavior the night his son was arrested for underage drinking--for the
second time. It seemed at this point that both father and son were hell bent on
self-destruction. Contrary to what he'd just said, Roman was uncertain as to
the cause and effect relationship between Stefano Dimera and the personality
changes they had all seen over the past two years or so. Maybe Bo was right...
maybe John was to blame for all of it because of his own foolish choices which led
him down the inevitable path to other more treacherous activities. Maybe John
Black had lived the lie as long as he could carry it off, but when the past had
finally caught up with him, he simply went back to that old life of his own
volition.
On the other hand, maybe there was
something to what Marlena had suggested previously, which was that the ruthless
mercenary Stefano created inside John's tortured and brainwashed mind had been
forcing his way to the surface, reasserting himself over a long period of time.
John struggled and fought him off as long as he could, resulting in the
confusing, often contradictory behaviors they had all witnessed.
The more Roman thought about it, the
more questions his pondering created. Was the excessive drinking just one more
self destructive act committed by a guilty man well on his way back to a life
of crime, or was it some desperate attempt by a ravaged mind to quell the
immense torment resulting from that internal struggle for control? If it were
the latter, then maybe John did deserve some empathy for his current plight.
And more importantly, was the battle over? Or was it still continuing as John
languished in a prison cell, awaiting trial for killing a family of four with
his Jeep, while apparently engulfed in a drunken rage.
Sandra H. Bondelier
2000-2004