FOREVER LOVE as performed by Reba McEntire

The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew

We'd spend this life side by side.......

It was supposed to last forever, at least that was what they always said. After all those years apart, they had made a solemn vow never to let anything or anyone come between them again. Who was to know it would be some scattered fragments of recovered memory that could bring their love to an end? She could hardly believe it was real, that it wasn't just some bad dream that would fade in the early morning light. But waking up to look at the empty side of her bed made the harsh reality of loss impossible to deny. John had left her... "for her own good," he said, because he would only end up hurting her, because of what he'd done in some distant past, some lifetime she didn't care about. Damn him, anyway... for doing this! We were supposed to be married by now. How could he leave me when he still loves me so much?

I still feel the same though you're so far away.......

He had gone off to find out about his past and he didn't want her to wait around for him; he wanted her to be free to love someone who was a whole person, someone who wouldn't cause her so much pain. When she asked him for details, he couldn't give them. John had been having more vivid dreams; she knew that much and she knew that they were scaring him, though he had steadfastly denied it. Sometimes he'd wake up in a cold sweat, his breathing rapid and shallow, his body trembling, but he couldn't tell her the specifics and he wouldn't let her hypnotize him to explore the memories in more detail. John was frightened by the content of those dreams, so afraid that it caused him to run away from her, to let go of their love even though it was so clearly killing him to do it. Her only conclusion was that what he was recalling involved violence and that he was worried he would harm her in some way, or that by association she would be hurt. No matter what she said, she couldn't sway him and now he was in Europe, thousands of miles away. As far as Marlena was concerned it might as well have been a million.....

I swear that you'll always be my

Forever love

I promise you

Someday we'll be together

Forever love

I won't give up............

She remembered every word of their last conversation. He was riddled with self-doubt and she couldn't seem to break through his defenses and make him see how wrong he was. "I'm so sorry, Doc.. but I just can't see any other way... I've caused you so much pain... I couldn't take it if I hurt you again. These memories I'm having....they're....bad, Doc... I think I did some... horrible things.."

Marlena had cut him off, "John.... we are together now... I've told you before that nothing from your past can hurt us, unless we let it. We're going to face it all together. Our love is strong enough to handle anything this world throws at us, John... please..you know that's true..."

He was shaking his head, his fear controlling his head and his heart, "Marlena... I'm talking about.. terrible things, I think I... hurt people, maybe even... killed people. I don't want to put you in danger. If you were hurt again because of me, I'd never forgive myself. I'm sorry, but the only way to protect you... is for me to walk away... I... love you... so I have to let you go... I'm so sorry, Doc. "

Cupping his face between her hands, she pleaded with him, "No... John, no that's not the answer, honey..." She was desperate to convince him of his faulty thinking, "We can handle this... It's the dreams, isn't it.. they're scaring you... John... sweety.. we can work through this...You said it yourself, we can face anything as long as we stay together."

She remembered the anguished expression on his face as he shook his head slightly. She didn't recall a time when she'd seen more pain in those baby blues she loved so much. He cocked his head slightly to one side, tears falling down like rain and said, "No... we can't.. it's too dangerous for you.. *I'm* too dangerous for you. It's just like the last time, Doc... I'm a time bomb getting ready to blow... and I don't want you anywhere near me when it does..... I'm sorry... I'll... always love you, Doc... You'll always be the only one for me... forever..." Those were his last words to her, spoken in a barely audible tear choked whisper before he turned and walked away.

No matter what

I'll be waiting for you

Forever love........

That was what astounded her. Even as he was walking away in tears, he knew it too. Their love was the forever kind. She simply couldn't comprehend how they could be breaking up now, after everything they'd endured to have the chance to be together in love. It was still so unreal.

Minutes and hours and years may go by

But my heart knows nothing of time...

It had only been a couple of days, but it seemed an eternity in some moments. That didn't matter though; she wasn't going to give up on him. John was hurting terribly, and he only left because of his fear for her safety. How could she really be angry at him for that? He had hired her the best in personal security before he left to do more searching into that other life; wherever the clues led him, she understood that he had to know. She only wished he would let her stand by his side while he uncovered the mysteries.

She kept looking at one of the most recent pictures of the two of them. It was taken at the 4th of July picnic. They were smiling and so very happy, so very much in love, feeling completely secure in their relationship. How could it possibly have changed so quickly? From the moment, she'd seen him in Lugano, she knew something was different. It wasn't anything she could define, but that trip had stirred up his desire to know and soon afterward his self-doubt and fears for her safety. Fingering the snapshot, she spoke to him as if he could actually hear her across the oceans of distance between them, "Oh.. John... honey.. I know you're worried about what you'll find and you think you're doing what's best for me, but you're not. This is wrong. Being apart is the worst thing for me.. I love you and I need you! Please come home to me, my love."

So don't cry....

Just keep me right there

In your dreams.....

Staring at the picture he carried with him brought intense pleasure and excruciating pain to his wounded heart, but he was compelled to see her; at least that way he could hold onto the image of her. "Oh.. Doc, I love you! I'm never gonna stop loving you.. I swear it! I'm sorry... but I didn't know what else to do... If you or the kids were hurt because of me... because of my past... I could never forgive myself... I'm so sorry... I love you so much!" The crying came on suddenly sometime.. He'd be fine and then some little reminder would come along and take him by surprise and the tears of pain and regret returned to his sad eyes. "You're right... you're always with me... wherever I go... you're in my heart and soul, Doc... and you always will be." In some moments it hurt so much John thought he would die and he wondered if the agony of separation would ever fade.

And hold on to these words of mine

Forever love.......

No matter what he did, no matter where he went, she was there. In the stunning beauty of sunrise over the Alps, in the bright light of the day, and in wondrous pastels at sunset. In the rain that fell upon the thirsty land, in the rainbows created when the sun's rays peeked out behind the clouds. In the seedy bars, in the bustling streets, and in the love songs that played on the radio. She was forever in his heart and in his mind. And when he settled into sleep, she was there in his dreams and he longed for her touch, for the comfort of her arms around him, for the sound of her soothing voice when the nightmares came and woke him up. God, how he ached for the memory of her body next to his in their bed, for her soft moist lips upon his.

I promise you

Someday we'll be together

Forever love...

Sometimes when she was very still, she could feel his pain. Yes.. he was crying for her, as she was for him. It just didn't seem right to be so in love with each other and so far apart, to be hurting so much. She reached out to him, hoping to touch his heart, to make him see that he was wrong, that the only way he could ever really hurt her was by leaving her alone. "No... John, don't ache and cry for me... Just come back to me and you'll make me so happy, you'll make yourself happy. Let me love you... as I know you love me. We'll face it all together, come what may. You're not getting rid of me so easily... I won't give up on you, John Black!”

I won't give up

No matter what

I'll be waiting for you

Forever love...........

It was almost like she was talking to him across the miles. Even though he'd walked away, she still loved him, she still wanted to help him in the quest for his elusive past. She was willing to risk anything, just to have him by her side. Marlena wanted to share her life with him and her love and devotion came with no strings attached. It was astonishing to him that her love was completely unconditional; she was in it for the duration, no matter where his search for those missing years might lead them. What more could a man ever ask for than the unwavering love and support she gave to him?

Love is the road to our destiny

Nothing can change what's meant to be..........

He kept remembering what she said just before he left her alone and crying. "John.... wherever you go... whatever you do... I'll be in your heart and in your soul. I don't think you can really walk away. I'm always going to be there, John.... and you *need* me... as much as I need you, I know you do! You've said it so many times, honey... we're soulmates.... we're destined to be together forever... How can you possibly think this is the right thing to do?” He had no answer then and he still didn't. Maybe she was right, maybe staying together was the only way. Maybe they *were* meant to be, in spite of what he found. Maybe that's what God is trying to tell me here, that our love was meant to last forever.

Forever love

I promise you

Someday we'll be together........

It wasn't something she could explain to those who asked her, but she felt a difference in her heart, as if her daily attempts to reach out to him were having their effect. She believed that he was beginning to respond to her unfaltering faith in their love, that he was reconsidering his decision. All her friends kept telling her it was just wishful thinking, that she had to accept his choice and let him go. They said she needed to move on, to stop putting her life on hold for him. If he couldn't see the value of what they shared and come back to her, then he wasn't worth the time she spent worrying about him. It was his loss.

Forever love

I won't give up...

But, they didn't truly understand the bond she shared with John; no one ever could. It was an amazing and indestructible force and she *knew* in her soul that he still felt the fine gossamer strands that stretched between them. No matter the physical distance, they were always with each other in spirit.

Sometimes, John closed his eyes and he could still see her face so clearly, as beautiful as ever. She was smiling, her eyes were shining with love and her hands were reaching out for him. Even now, two months later, she wanted him to come home. She was willing to welcome him back into her life if he would only trust in the strength of their love. Her faith was enough for both of them.. How could he turn his back on a love like that? How could he be such a fool as to think he could ever really get over her? The honest truth of the matter was that he was absolutely miserable without her and he sensed intuitively that she felt the same way. How could that be what was best? Marlena was right all along; he could be a million miles away from her and she was still with him, as she always would be. She was deeply ingrained in his heart, mind, body and soul. Marlena Evans was his life, plain and simple.

No matter what

I'll be waiting for you

Forever love.........

Once he succumbed to that essential truth, it was only a matter of seconds before he was on the phone and dialing her number," Hello... John, is that you, honey?" answered that soft sweet voice of the woman he loved more than life itself. Miraculously, she knew it would be him and she was elated to receive a call from him. It touched his heart in ways he couldn't even express, to hear the longing and affection in her voice.

He was suddenly overcome by emotion and could barely speak the words, "Yep... it's me.... I'm.. coming home, Doc... if you still.. want me....I wanna come home. I love you... You were right, I do need you..... now more than ever... Will you forgive me for being such a fool?"

She too was overwhelmed by joy and said through the release of tears, "Oh.. John...You know I will.. I love you SO. You just come home to me and I'll show how much!" she cried.

"You said our love was meant to last forever, Doc... and you were right. You were right about everything. I'm really sorry I forgot how good we are.. how strong we are.. together, but I promise I won't do that *ever* again. You're my forever love.”

She was weeping so hard she could barely get the words out, but she managed a tearful whisper, "Yes... forever, my love...."

I'll be waiting for you

Forever love......