A Grand Design

Chapter Fourteen

 

 

Kernels of Truth

Marlena sat on the bed for a few moments, collecting her thoughts, and trying to figure out how a pleasant moment could turn out so badly. What had made his anger flare so suddenly? She slipped off the edge and padded across the floor, looking out into the main room to see John leaning against the front wall of windows, staring almost blankly out over the mountainside. She saw him put his head down as she stepped a little closer and heard his quiet sigh.

When she thought they could endure the silence no longer, Marlena spoke softly, offering an apology, "I'm sorry, John, for whatever I said that upset you."

He shook his head, and not quite looking at her, apologized himself, "No, I'm sorry, I don't know why I flew off the handle like that. I'm really sorry, Marlena. I don't know what's wrong with me."

She knew that part of it was the grief he had such a hard time letting himself admit to, let alone feel, but she said nothing about it, choosing instead to focus on the present. "It's alright. I guess we should expect to have a few rough moments along the way. You're right, we do come from different worlds, John, but that doesn't have to a bad thing. Does it?" she asked, while tenderly massaging his neck and shoulders.

He thought for a minute and then turned to look her square in the eye. "No, I guess it doesn't. So, where do we start?"

She smiled and then extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Doctor Marlena Evans. I'm a psychiatrist and I'm visiting France to speak at a conference on Post Traumatic Stress."

He froze. Hearing her utter the phrase caused a swiftly rising sense of panic to set in. His heart rate seemed to climb rapidly and his breathing increased in pace as well, a light sheen of sweat dotting his forehead.

She couldn't help but notice his sudden discomfort. "John, what is it?"

The man shook his head in a sharp, jerky motion, puzzled by his own response. "I... I don't... know." A sudden piercing headache almost knocked him down it was so intense.

His mind went blank as the words echoed inside his skull. 'Post traumatic stress. Flashbacks frequent and intense. Intrusive memories are pervasive, occurring in nightmares as well as during waking hours. Multiple triggers of unknown origin. Prognosis poor, patient has very little chance for a full recovery.' Over and over he heard those same kinds of words and phrases....

He suddenly faltered, one hand reaching toward the windowsill as he felt his body going out of balance. Instinctively, Marlena moved to guide him toward the couch to ride it out, whatever *it* was.

She immediately kicked into doctor mode, watching him closely while trying to capture his attention and determine what was wrong. But, he didn't respond to further questioning, seeming to become lost in rumination or fixated on a memory; she couldn't tell which. His eyelids fluttered several times as he sat perfectly still, his breathing still rapid and shallow. The man was obviously in some kind of emotional shock and she had no idea why. It was frightening and very worrisome. "John...are you alright?"

Nothing but a horrified expression. "John, please, answer me....tell  me what's wrong."

The next thing she knew, his head lolled to one side and his eyes rolled back. A second or two later, he was out cold. "Oh, John," she said, groaning. "A little warning would have been nice," she added, bearing what felt like his full weight with her arms and upper body. She eased him down onto the couch and stretched his legs out, situating him so that he appeared to be resting comfortably. Next, she did the only thing she could do. She sat across the room and waited for him to come around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking out over the Alps, Bo Brady sighed, wishing he could put his arms around Hope and take comfort from her love. One of the most beautiful places in the world and he couldn't appreciate it. Not with Marlena out there, somewhere, with a man they knew very little about. What they did know definitely wasn't pretty. The evidence demonstrated that the man was a thief and a killer for hire, not to mention a powder keg of explosive emotion that could blow at any time.

Three days. It had been three long days since the fire at the Inn and they still had next to nothing to go on. "Shane, I can't believe that with all these agents, nobody's got any idea where this guy could be holed up with her!"

"Neither can I, Bo, but he must have had this place for awhile and kept it a secret from everybody he knew. Word is that Stefano can't find him either, so we at least have that to be thankful for at this point."

"Yea, oh, man, Shane, my parents are going out of their minds, they're so worried about her and the twins. Bo smiled briefly, as he thought of his brother and how he'd dubbed the little cherubs, 'the twinners.' And then the anger flared. Dimera had killed his brother and now, one of his people had taken Marlena hostage. He wasn't going to let the monster get away with it, not ever again.

"Bo, what are you thinking?"

"That I want to find Marlena and then I want to nail this bastard once and for all. He's hurt us enough. And I swear, if this John Black, or whoever the hell he really is, has so much as touched her, he's a dead man, Shane."

Bo was calm but his eyes were ablaze. He was serious. Placing his hands lightly on the younger man's shoulders, Shane urged his friend to hold it together a little while longer, "Bo, listen to me, I understand your anger, but you can't let it get in the way. It won't do anybody any good if you go off, it'll only get you in major trouble and cause more pain and suffering to everyone that you love."

Slamming his fist on the table next to him, Bo yelled at his friend, "Dammit, I'm just so FRUSTRATED! That bastard murdered my brother, Shane! And now, Marlena's out there somewhere, being manipulated into a world she knows nothing about."

"I know that. It's getting to me too, Bo... but we have to keep our focus on helping her, arresting Stefano and his people, and making sure that none of them get away."

He blew out a weary sigh and said, "Yea, I know you're right, I just wish we would hear something."

"Me too, Bo, me too," Shane said, also sighing, thinking that a good night's sleep would help. "Why don't we pack it in for the night, Bo."

He shrugged and said, "Sure, why not? Nothing else to do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, I've told you about my life in Salem, my work, the kids. Now it's your turn."

He stood up from where he'd been sitting to look out the windows, lightly shaking his head. Telling her the truth would surely set the fledging relationship on a short course toward disaster. Not that lying would have a better result. He shrugged and said, too casually, "There's nothing much to tell, really. I've moved around a lot--done lots of different things to make a living--not very exciting."

"John, you can't run from it," she said, rising to follow him.

"Who says I'm running? Uh, aside from the fact that I'm *on* the run, that is?" he said, chuckling in spite of himself.

"So, talk to me, John, tell me about your life."

"Marlena, I think we both know where this is headed. I was right; we come from two completely different worlds. There never really was a chance for us, so why don't we just quit pretending. What we have between us here is attraction, that's it."

She couldn't figure this man out. Things were going fairly well, they were having a pleasant conversation and then just that quickly, the distance between them seemed to be widening again. "Speak for yourself, John."

"Oh, right... next you're going to tell me that you can see past the rough exterior, that I have a good heart and if you can just help me tap into that, I'll begin to change and turn my life around. Come on, Doctor Evans, is that it?" he asked, taking another step or two away from her. As if the space could quell the yearning he felt growing deep inside him, a yearning to know and be known, to love and be loved by her alone.

"Something like that, yes."

He laughed and shook his head to argue. "You really have led a sheltered life, woman. Look, I think it's time I got you to a train station so you can catch a plane back to the States. I'm sure your family is worried sick about you by now."

"Yes, I'm sure they are and I do want to go home, but John, I care about you."

Shaking his head again, he contradicted her, "No you don't. You care about the man you *want* me to be, not the man that I am."

"No, no that's not true, John. I care about *you, * the man you are right here and now."

"And what about my past, all the terrible things the papers say I've done? I know you read some of it. Are you telling me you're gonna just forget about that?"

She had no answer for him because she didn't know how she felt about it, and partly because she didn't even know the half of it, like he'd said earlier.

Her hesitance was all the answer he needed. Pushing out a breath, he nodded and spoke forcefully, "I thought so. Pack your things, we're leaving in less than an hour."

"But, John, it's still dark out," she said, taken completely by surprise.

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock... of course it's dark out. We have a much better chance of making it out of here if we leave under the cover of darkness." With that, he turned and made his way toward the duffel bag he'd been living out of for a week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eighty kilometers outside Paris.

Well before dawn at the estate of a wealthy entrepreneur, one man paced while the other sat patiently waiting.

Having anticipated the call, the receiver lifted the telephone from its cradle almost before it rang, pleased with the words he heard. "I found them, Sir.... I stopped at a petrol station and asked the owner to tell me whether John and the woman had been through the area. With some.... not so friendly persuasion, he told me they had and where they were headed. Seems he knows Black and he told me the man owns a small cabin in the area. I made him show us where it was."

"Excellent."

"What do you want us to do, boss?"

"Watch them closely and wait until I get there. This is personal and I want to be there when you take him."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Where should I meet you?"

"We're staying at a small Inn just outside the town of Montgenevre, it's one of the few in the area. It's privately owned and operated."

After taking down the name and number, he said, "Excellent work. You shall be rewarded handsomely for your efforts."

"Thank you, Sir, thank you very much."

"Whatever you do, don't let them out of your site."

"No Sir, not a chance!" the man said, practically saluting the man with his voice.

Stefano smiled, thinking how good it felt to have so many people at his beck and call. The taste of revenge was sweet and he salivated with the mere anticipation of exacting it from John Black. The traitor was going to die, slowly and very painfully after being thoroughly degraded and humiliated. He would beg to die, but his suffering would go on and on until Stefano wanted to end it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing more had been said about the incident earlier, an incident John had dismissed as insignificant. Marlena had let it go at the time, but she wasn't buying his lame attempt at explaining it as a bad headache and lingering effects from the gunshot wound and being on the run. They were packed and ready to go when she stopped John from walking out the door of the cabin to start the vehicle, grasping hold of his left forearm.

"John, we can't go yet, I think you know there's something else we have to talk about."

"No, on the contrary, I think we've said everything there is to say. Now, come on, it's time to get you to safety so you can go back to your life, your real life," he said, tugging the arm away from her.

"John, what happened before, it could be something serious. I can't leave you knowing there might be... complications."

"Marlena, it's like I said, it was just a headache, no big deal. I get them all the time, so there's nothing for you to worry about."

"Have you been to see anyone about them?"

"Yea, and I have some pills I take when they get bad, okay?" he said, hoping she'd leave it at that.

She didn't. "No, it's not okay, John. You don't have any pills with you now. And besides that, it was more than a headache and we both know it. Tell me what happened, John. What was going on inside your mind when it hit?"

Frustrated, he spouted off at her, "Look, it doesn't matter. There's nothing you can do about it anyway. There's nothing anyone can do." He'd said more than he should have and immediately regretted it, scrambling for a way to cover, finding none. 

"What are you saying?" she said, catching something in his slightly hidden eyes.

"I'm saying, I got scrambled eggs for brains. Dimera's messed with my head so many times I don't know who or what I am anymore."

"Messed with your head, how John?" she asked worriedly, her eyes scrutinizing his face for an answer that went beyond words.

"Look, Doc.. I appreciate your concern, I really do, but it's too late."

"John, are there things you don't remember?" she asked, making a guess.

All he did was laugh at first. "Now what you got there is an understatement, Doctor. Ever heard the term brainwashing?"

"Yes, John.. I have, but why?"

"Well, rumor has it, Stefano's done it to me. I don't like to think about it much, but the truth is, I don't remember anything before I came to live with him, and I don't remember when that was. Aside from what he's told me, the only thing I *do* remember is the life I lived with him, where he was in control of almost every move I made."

She shuddered at the thought of what the bastard might have done to this man she'd come to care about. "I'm sorry, John, that must have been horrible."

"No, it wasn't all horrible; most of the time it really wasn't half bad. We always ate well, wore nice clothes, and he taught me a lot too," John said, his voice trailing off slightly as he recalled some of the finer moments. Playing chess, sitting around a bountiful dinner table, drinking good brandy in the den afterward and talking, hours spent planning an intricate heist..

"John, are you remembering something important?"

Hearing her voice snapped him out of his reverie and reminded him of his current predicament, being hunted down by a vengeful master. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am," he said coming to full awareness. "One of the most important lessons I ever learned is that no one ever leaves him and lives to tell about it. So, lady if you value your life, you better stop wasting it trying to help me salvage mine. It's a lost cause. Now, we're getting you out of here and back to your kids in the States. Have you got that!" he finished with a fierceness she hadn't seen since that first day.

Angered and feeling rejected, she yelled back at him, "Alright, if that's the way you want to play it. Then, yes I've got it! Let's get the hell out of this winter wasteland." She pushed past him to exit the cabin, racing toward the Range Rover, climbing in and slamming the door without a backward glance.

John watched her go, letting out a sigh filled with emotions he couldn't name, wondering for a moment what might have been. But in his world there was no time for fantasy. A handful of seconds later, he was putting the Rover in gear and heading down the mountain toward an uncertain future.

Watching her huddled toward the car door, shivering with the cold and a hint of the fear he'd engendered, John made a silent promise. No matter what else happened, he wasn't going to let any harm come to the lovely lady doctor who had saved his life. He was going to make sure she made it home to Salem safe and sound to raise her children. John knew he couldn't bring back their father, the man Dimera had taken from her, but at least he could do that much.

On to the next chapter

A Grand Design Title

Return Home

Sandra H. Bondelier