A Montage dedicated to the enduring love that exists between Soulmates
Written by Sandra H. Bondelier
(Lyrics borrowed from song recorded by Martin Page)

The song seemed to be playing every time she turned on the radio lately.. It suddenly occurred to the sometimes melancholy blond haired woman that it might not be a coincidence, after all, as her friends tried to tell her. Maybe John was requesting that it be played frequently. She wouldn't put anything past him. He was pulling out all the stops to get her back in his life....

Don't give me money, money, money...
It'll lead my soul astray

I just want to be inside your temple each and every day
When you lay down your head

I will be your bed.......

And, I'll be the heart that keeps on beatin' hard up against your skin
I'll be the bulldozer pushin' til you let me in
And when the sun goes down
I will be around
Cause I'm gonna be

The keeper of the flame....

John Black was nothing if not persistent, she decided after considering his latest attempt to win her back. She smiled in spite of herself and her best friend Laura, who happened to walk by, saw the reaction. It wasn't the gift box however.... it was what happened the previous evening and she had to admit it, if only to herself... he was beginning to wear her down.

"So what did he do this time?" asked her best friend as she poked her head through the doorframe wearing a knowing smile.

"Oh, hi Laura.." the good doctor said with a start. "How did you know?"

"Oh, because you have that.. look on your face. You know the one where..."

"What look? I don't have a look, Laura.... " she said, scrunching her face up, slightly puzzled by the comment, another part of her knowing exactly to which expression the astute Laura Horton was referring.

"Oh.... the one that says, 'I wonder if I should give him another chance," Laura teased, crossing the distance and touching her friend on the arm...making her look up and meet her gaze

A frown preceded her defensive response as Marlena sat back down, "Oh, I do not... and I *don't* have a look anyway. I told him I wanted a divorce... I should think he would have gotten the point by now."

Deciding that she wasn't going to have the same tired conversation, Laura plopped down on the loveseat and didn't let her best friend off easily, "Yes, and you've told everyone else the same thing. That doesn't make it the truth, Marlena."

"Laura, what are you talking about? Of course it's the truth!" she said indignantly, while sitting up a little straighter in the chair behind her desk. "The marriage is over."

Laura scowled and looked her friend right in the eye, "Oh, Marlena... stop fooling yourself.... a divorce is the *last* thing you want from John Black."

"Oh, is it? So now, you're not only a psychiatrist... you're a psychic too... Since when did you expand your skills into mind reading Laura?" she asked with biting sarcasm, turning to stare out the window... the picture of him standing in the pouring rain reappearing almost as if on cue. It was a sweet romantic gesture.... a slightly satisfied sigh escaped against her will.

"Don't take it out on me... Read the card..."

She did... several times, and after doing so, couldn't get the previous evening's images out of her head. It was late October, three months after their "break-up" and John was standing there in the bone chilling, pouring down rain, a lighter in his hand to plead his case in yet another crazy way. She had to admit, the man was clever and he didn't give up easily; it was a quality she always admired. He'd been shaking and sneezing even then and still he stood there his arm slightly under cover with the flame as high as it would go, just to let her know he was still fighting for their love, using the words of an upbeat song to state his case.

"Oh, alright... I'll read the card!" she said exasperatedly. "If it will get you to drop the subject...Then, maybe I can put him out of mind and get some work done around here..."

Laura only laughed at first, and then after a pause muttered quietly, "You don't need me talking about him to have him on your mind.... that's a given, my friend."

Wrapped inside the box, which she hesitated to open because she knew it was one more step toward accepting him back into her heart, was a tiny charm for her bracelet. It was, of course, a tiny replica of a tiki torch...."Oh, John.... why don't you just... let me go... it's over my love... the flame has been extinguished..." she said, whispering softly, still trying to convince herself.

Just as she was about to fold it all up and send it back, as she had done each time before, she saw another note, hand written on special paper, from Hawaii...'Oh John...' she sighed...

It brought tears to Laura's eyes just to hear his touching words, "Oh, Marlena... he's being so...."

"Bullheaded.... That's what he is... Laura, he's a glutton for punishment... I told him it was over and I sent out the papers, I've given back all the gifts.... What more can I do to make him to let me go?" She couldn't look her friend in the eye, sounding tough and unaffected as she gazed out on the barren Autumn grass. However, appearances were often so deceiving and this was one of those times. She was far from unaffected by his romantic gestures and his tender words of love.

"You can start by meaning it when you tell him it's over," she answered sarcastically. It wasn't going to happen. "Marlena... listen to me.. I know that you were hurt by what happened, but so was John... He's been miserable without you....and he *loves* you. Don't lie to yourself.... you know you still love him too... Why don't you give him a chance?"

"Because.... we've been down this road before! I thought we were well past the need for second chances, Laura!"

"It wasn't his fault, Marlena! Stop punishing him, stop pushing him away and let him love you? You know that's what you really want..."

Now there was fire in her eyes...as she turned to face her friend once more, "No... no... you're wrong about that! Look, if we're going to go out tonight.. I really have to get some work done here... so, I'll see you later, okay?" she said, her tone dismissive. It was time to end the discussion, for the pain of being separated from him was encroaching and those infernal tears were forming once again. She vowed she would NOT cry over John Black, not ever again.

With a weary defeated sigh her best friend let it go for the moment, "Alright.... but I know the truth... and the truth is, you still love him... as much as you ever have... He's wearing you down... and that's why you're so irritated right now... you want to keep that gift.. I can see it in your eyes."

Laura was going to leave it at that and then something she had overheard earlier came to mind, "Oh, and by the way... I thought you should know.... he's home sick...in bed... seems he was out on the pier in the rain... caught a death of a cold. Alice is sending some chicken soup over with Carrie later on."

That conversation, one she couldn't get out of her head, was hours ago and now she was sitting in the Penthouse Grill with friends all around, prepared to eat her meal when another gift arrived, a long wooden box being delivered to her table. She couldn't stop thinking about him being all alone and sick, resting fitfully in some cold unfeeling hotel room instead of home in their bed. It hadn't helped a bit that Carrie insisted on describing his condition in detail... talking about how pitiful men were when they were sick...

'Oh, come on...stop it.. He's a big boy, Marlena... he can take care of himself....besides... he only has himself to blame...what was he thinking anyway?' she was saying to herself as turned her attention to the attractive mahogany rectangular shaped box on the table in front of her. It was no doubt another symbol of his theme of the week.. and it was all she could do to maintain control over the swirling contradicting emotions inside her heart and mind. Even when he was sick in bed he was laboring to win her, fighting so hard for their love. Deciding it was the least she could do, Marlena opened the latest card and read it...

As she was trying to figure out how to respond to yet another moment in which her heart wanted to melt and her mind was all confused, she heard that song again and she knew something very important was about to happen. She knew that on this, her fiftieth birthday, she was going to be confronted with a momentous decision, one that could no longer be avoided. It was time to send him away for good or take him back forever. A smile crept across her face as an image of him singing these same words suddenly appeared in her mind's eye.

Somehow, she made it past that awkward moment when all eyes were upon her and the evening progressed as she shared a fine meal and good conversation with the Brady and Horton families, along with Abe, Lexie, Celeste, and Vivian. At last, it was time for the cake..... He hadn't shown his face, and Marlena sighed, thinking how relieved she would be to have this night over, a part of her not quite feeling ready for the final discussion that would make or break them forever.

She sighed with mixed emotions, looked up, and unexpectedly, there he was. Her uncertain hazel eyes met his deep blue ones and they became locked in place. Her heart ached to look at him and her body trembled with nervous apprehension of what the next moments would bring. Sick as he obviously was, John was standing before her in a tuxedo holding one of the white candles from their wedding, which took place just a few short months ago. The table was placed in the very spot where they had exchanged vows.

Marlena saw his lips begin to quiver and his voice crackled with emotion as he tried to share what was in his heart, "Marlena... I know you didn't want me here tonight, but I.. wanted you to know that I'm.. still holding on to the flame of our love... and I always will.... I just.. wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday...in person.... but I'll go now... " It was all he said as he placed the burning candle and its holder on the table in front of her... and began to turn away, his sad eyes moist with tears. It took every ounce of strength he had to leave her side.

She flashed him a warm expression, one that said they just might have a chance after all. Seeing that his hands were behind his body, as if he were still holding something back, she said, "John... wait... it's okay... and if you want to give me another gift... I'll accept it." The song continued to play in the background, leaving them both smiling slightly.... if only with the awkwardness of uncertainty.

His eyes went wide open with surprise.... Feeling so sick and tired, the fever rising again, he was resigned to having to leave and then planned to force himself to begin to let her go, as she kept saying she wanted him to do. "You will?" he asked incredulously, turning all the way back around to face her.

"Yes...I will... " She was so serious and he wasn't sure what to make of it...'Was there really a chance?' No matter if he collapsed in the process, it would be worth it in the end. John wasn't going to blow this one last opportunity to recapture her heart and soul.

John smiled and made a gesture toward the band area.... "Well, okay then.. but I'll have to demonstrate this one for you." He winked at the family and a groan or two escaped as the gathering of friends and family suddenly figured out what was coming, especially after they saw what was in his right hand.

"Oh no.... John.. don't tell me..." the Birthday girl was beginning to say as the music was being cued up for him. Laura, Abe and Lexie just looked at each other and grinned. Just before the next phase began, Lexie leaned over and said as several pairs of eyes rolled, "Don't worry about it... he's been working with Celeste three days a week for the past few months..."

Marlena's brow furrowed in confusion and she interrupted her friend, "Celeste...but what does she...."

Abe winked at his buddy and smiled at Marlena as he answered, suddenly feeling infinitely more hopeful for the two people who deserved some lasting happiness, than he had for several long weeks, "Voice lessons....."

Marlena tossed her head back and the mirthful sounds of her golden laughter echoed all around as one song finished and the next was surely soon to follow.....