Cause For Alarm
Marlena was walking with agonizing
slowness down the hall toward John's room, feeling more emotionally drained and
physically exhausted than she ever remembered feeling in her often painful
existence on earth. Not even two full days into the new year and she had just
taken a late meeting with the DA to review her official statement to the police
about the night John was seriously injured. In addition, the meeting
encompassed a thorough explanation of the DA's case against both Kristen Blake,
who had been arrested after a tearful confession prompted by a brief visit to
see John in which she overheard what Roman had done to him, and Roman Brady,
including the results of the thorough psychological evaluation conducted on her
ex-husband by a team of psychiatric professionals.
Her wedding night fiasco.... a
sweet, romantic New Year's Eve surprise arranged by the man she loved turned
nearly deadly and certainly disasterous. It was like something from one of
those incessantly sensational daytime talk shows. She could almost hear Geraldo
Rivera's voice saying in his often overly dramatic fashion, "We now go
live to Salem for the tragic story of a long standing love triangle that
finally became violent. One of that town's most beloved heroes turned would be
killer, Roman Brady, allegedly taunted and shot John Black, a prominent
national businessman and brand new husband of the well known Dr. Marlena
Evans--formerly Brady's wife, on their wedding night."
Marlena shuddered as the images of
John's badly wounded, bloody form flashed rapid-fire style in her mind's eye.
There was so much blood... it was frightening, though none of the bullet wounds
themselves were life threatening. She recalled the moment when she returned to
the Penthouse, late that afternoon to pick some of her things and the
children's as well. The police hadn't finished with their search for evidence
and therefore, the blood was as it fell from John's body, splattered on several
surfaces. She had fallen to her knees in tears for what her groom had endured
at the hands of a man she once loved, for the fear he must have felt... When
she looked around she saw a tuft of his bloody hair on the floor, barely
visible underneath the couch and a tiny piece of fabric from his pants where
Roman had shot his leg.
She recalled that as she sat down
for a moment, overcome by emotion, she felt something, and reached down into
the cushion to find his blood stained watch and burst into another round of
tears. "Oh, John... I'm so sorry!" she had cried. Deciding that the
watch which had apparently fallen off in the struggle, but wasn't discovered by
the police was another piece of evidence, she planned to take it down to the
station. Marlena labored to force those gruesome images from her mind; it was
just too painful to contemplate the details for very long. Dealing with the aftereffects
was hard enough.
After the meeting, she had spoken
very briefly with Roman. It was all she could do to restrain herself from
reaching through the bars of the holding cell to strangle her ex-husband for
what he'd done to the man she loved. He said he didn't remember any of what
happened and seemed sincere as he cried and apologized for what he'd done, but
she didn't believe him. Besides, it hardly mattered to her at this juncture.
John was lying in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the neck down because of what
Roman had done. That was an unimpeachable fact, whether her ex-husband recalled
it or not, whether it was done intentionally or in some.. psychotic alcohol
induced break with reality. Whether it was permanent or only temporary, the
situation she now faced with John was enough to send murderous rage through
every nerve and muscle fiber in her body. Thankful she had no weapon on hand,
she turned away from the man she once loved, in absolute disgust and utter
disdain. He was out of her heart, out of her life forever. She loathed him now.
Nevertheless, she attached some of
the blame for their predicament to herself; the more she thought about it, the
more Marlena wondered why she ever held off in telling Roman the truth about
her love for John in the first place, especially after Roman had been given the
cure and started to improve. That prolonged period of indecision was what
ultimately led to the horrendous situation in which she and John now found
themselves.
Though the short walk from the elevator
seemed to take an eternity, she finally made it to the relatively safe haven of
John's room. What she saw when she entered, filled her heart with horrified
empathy, and she rushed to her husband's bedside. He was lying on his right
side, his face was contorted, every muscle taut with pain, and tears were
streaming out of his eyes, but he was suffering in silence, his breathing very
rapid and shallow. "Honey... what's wrong...." she asked, touching
his face to provide minimal comfort and capture his attention.
"Pain!" was the barely
audible but intense answer she received.
Frightened for him, she stroked his
cheek, saying softly, "Where.. honey.. where's the pain, baby?"
Again.. she could hardly hear his
response as he struggled through the agony to get the words out,
"Every..where... it's everywhere, Doc!" He whimpered softly,
squelching it, as if ashamed to display such weakness. "Mmm...oh...it
hurts!"
"Oh.. John.. honey.. why
didn't you use the..." she started to ask and then noticed that the call
system which had been set up for him to initiate with his mouth, was
disconnected and beyond his reach. After alerting a passing nurse to his
problem, she sat next to him, stroking his face, a horrible sinking feeling
landing in her stomach as she asked him about it, "John.. where's the call bell, why isn't it connected,
honey?"
It was a struggle to even respond
to her, the intensity of the pain sensations encompassing most of his
attention, but he managed to whisper another answer, "Don't know...
can't... remember."
Seeing that he was in too much pain
to really converse with her, she decided to leave the issue unresolved for the
time being. "Allright, we'll talk about it later, John. I'm going to get
Mike and Dr. Jacobs too, if he's on tonight, you shouldn't have to suffer like
this. I'll be right back, honey.. hang on..."
He didn't even have the strength to
object to her leaving the room. All he could do was lie there and try to will
the pain away... but he couldn't and the more he tried, the worse it seemed to
get, until his entire body was one mass of shooting burning pain. It threatened
to take him back to the darkness he dreaded, and he fought it, trying to
remember how the call bell was moved out of reach.. John vaguely recalled some
shadowy presence in his room earlier that evening, but the image faded quickly,
as another wave of pain shot down the length of his spine. "Oh God...it
hurts.. so much!" he was crying out, as Marlena returned with Mike and
Lexie in tow.
Mike was deliberately calm in the
face of Marlena and John's intense distress, "Hey... John... I heard
you're having some pretty serious pain. Can you tell me about it.. describe
it.. is it dull and achy or sharp, is it in one place or does it move?"
He struggled just to focus his
attention long enough to do as requested, "It's... sharp.. and it.. shoots
down my.. back and up and down my... arms and legs...and it... burns...Mike..
it's.... really bad!" He wanted to be strong.. not to cry.. but the pain
was unbearable and the tears flowed against his will. "Oh God!!" he
cried out as it shot fiery tendrils of agony up and down the length of his body
yet again and again. His breathing was desperate and ragged from the struggle
to gain some control over the excruciating sensations that coursed throughout
every nerve fiber in his body.
Covering her mouth with one hand,
Marlena burst into tears for him; she couldn't take seeing him in such utter
agony and she pleaded with her colleague.. Wiping some of the moisture from
John's face, she looked up at the young doctor and said commandingly,
"Mike.. you have to do something immediately...he shouldn't have to suffer
like this, please.. HELP HIM!"
For John to cry out and weep in
front of all of them meant that the pain was absolutely excruciating, and
Mike's heart went out to him. Wishing he had better news, he leaned in so that
John could meet his gaze and then reluctantly shared his conclusion with his
patient, "John.. I'm going to do what I can for you.. but, the kind of
pain you're describing is called... Neurogenic, or Neuropathic pain. It's a
direct result of the injury and the damage to the central nervous system, and
it's.. very difficult to do much about, but there are some things we can try.
I'm going to page Dr. Collins from the rehab hospital.. he's very experienced
with this. I know you're really hurting right now.. and it may be awhile.. The
best I can offer at this point is to.. sedate you with a heavy narcotic like
Morphine. It will probably put you out.. do you want me to do that?"
Marlena was nodding, still in
tears, wanting him to agree, but she wondered what John would say. The look of
profound disappointment on his face was heartwrenching and Marlena started to
weep even harder, in sympathy for his suffering. Mike reached over and squeezed
Marlena's hand as a gesture of comfort and support. John wanted the pain to
stop, it was so overwhelming, but he had spent so much time sleeping since that
fateful New Year's Eve. After an agonizing pause he answered, "No... just
give me... something to take the edge off and I'll wait. I don't... want to be
unconscious any more."
Mike sighed sadly. He abhorred it
when he came face to face with the limits of modern medicine. "I can
understand that.. Allright then... I'll order a less potent dosage. I can't
guarantee the results, but it should help a little bit."
Marlena sensed that their friend
felt bad and so said, "Thank you, Mike... you've been great."
Again it was difficult not to be able
to eliminate what was obviously extreme pain, and Mike said regretfully,
"I wish I could do more, John."
"Me too... but it's okay..
I'll manage," he said quietly after a sharp intake of breath, wincing from
a lesser wave of agony.
Mike turned to the nurse, who
arrived shortly after them, and told her.. "Give him 2 cc. morphine, IV
push.... stat."
John was thankful. Within a matter
of minutes, the narcotic had dulled the pain... or more accurately, his senses,
enough that it wasn't the only thing he was experiencing. Noticing the slight
change, Marlena, who was still very upset, went on with her inquiry,
"John... you should never be left alone without the call system set up so
that you can reach it. The nurses know that.. this was an inexcusable mistake
and I'm going to find out what happened. Who was on tonight, do you remember,
John?"
He didn't want to answer.. He liked
Julie and Lauren. Both had stopped in and he wasn't sure which one would have
been responsible because his memory was clouded by the intensity of the pain,
and the medication as well.. "John..honey.. I know you like them, but they
made a terrible error that caused you to suffer tremendously. Tell, me... who
was your nurse this evening?" she demanded.
"Don't get them in trouble,
Doc... please?" he pleaded, not wanting to go through the initial stages
with new faces.
"John... this is very
serious.... something has to be done about it!"
He suddenly felt like a child who
was tattling on his friends, "But.... I like them.. they're good to me..
They come and talk to me... when you're gone and I'm alone here. I don't want
them to get in trouble... please, don't report it."
She understood how he felt, but
this was unforgivable. "John.. I realize that they are nice people who
usually take good care of you, and they spend time with you when no one else
can be here.. but you have to realize that anything could have happened to you
and no one would have known. You could have had a serious medical crisis, John.
God knows this was bad enough, but it could have been much worse. I don't want
to leave you alone in this room if I can't trust that you are going to be cared
for properly. Now, if you won't tell me, I'll find out by looking at the duty
roster."
Recognizing from her righteous
anger and the fear she felt for his safety that he couldn't convince her to
keep it quiet, he reluctantly told her what she wanted to hear, "Okay...
it was.. Julie and Lauren.. they both came in to see me tonight,"
Frowning with disappointment, she
said, "That surprises me.. they are both so.. astute and they seemed
extremely competent.. I wouldn't have thought either of them would make this
kind of an error. What a shame."
"Marlena, you're not going to
get them reassigned, or.. fired, are you?" he asked anxiously.
"I'm going to report it and
let the hospital make a decision, but John... this will *not* happen again!
Now.. I'll be right back after filing an incident report. I love you," she
said and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
After a long sigh, he said with a
very disappointed tone, "Love you too... I wish you didn't have to do it..
but I understand.. I guess."
Reaching up to brush a stray strand
of hair from his face, she replied supportively, but still didn't back down,
"Honey... I know this is upsetting for you, but.. weren't you scared..
when you couldn't call for help?"
Finally, as his breath caught in
his throat, John tearfully admitted to what he felt when it happened,
"Yea...I was. When I... accepted the fact that I couldn't reach it, I
tried.. so hard to yell for help, but.. the door was shut and I.. couldn't
catch my breath.. to make it loud enough to be heard through the door, so I
just.. laid there.. praying that.. someone would.. come in and find me."
Marlena started to cry again, just
thinking about how frightening it would be.. to lie there in helpless agony,
knowing there was no way of getting anyone to come. Sitting back on the bed,
she caressed his cheeks and wiped a few of his wayward tears away, saying, "Oh..
baby.. don't you see.. honey... I don't want that to happen to you *ever*
again.. That terrifies me for you, John. When I came in here... and saw you..
your face was so.. tense with pain.. and the tears were just flooding out of
your eyes.. I've never been more upset about anything in my entire life. I love
you and I don't want you to suffer like that.. to feel that kind of... helpless
fear. So, I.. have to do this.. to make sure it doesn't happen again. You
understand now, don't you, honey?"
"Yea.. okay... " Watching
her go, John laid there in the bed, resigned to having some different nurses..
having to go through the awkwardness once more, as he had that first day with
Julie and Lauren and he began to weep... again. It had only been a few days, but the frustration of being so
completely helpless was wearing on him. As he thought about the pain and who
was with him before it started, the memory began to come back to him
Suddenly.. he recalled the entire
incident. Julie and Lauren had both been in to see him one last time. Lauren
was going off duty and Julie was just coming on. They were going to shift
change and then Julie planned to be back after making rounds on all the other
patients. He said he was fine, they had checked the IV's, catheterized him,
given him some water and taken his vital signs. Since, everything was fine and
he seemed ready to drift off to dreamland, they said their goodbyes and he
closed his eyes. The next thing he knew, he was waking up in pain and he went to
use the call system, and couldn't find it with his mouth. He opened his eyes
and searched for it.. It was beyond his reach, even if he strained with all his
might, the neck brace prevented him from reaching it, and he didn't understand
because the nurses had made him demonstrate it before they left him alone. As
the memory became more and more vivid in his mind's eye, he yelled in a terror
filled voice, "Doc... I remember!!"
She was halfway down the hall, but
the door was open this time and she heard him. Marlena raced back to the room
to see what had happened this time, afraid he was in still greater pain.
"John... what is it? Is the pain getting worse?"
His face bore a strange expression, a mixture of emotions displayed in his eyes...there was some anger, some fear, and something else she couldn't define. In very serious, somber tones, he said, "I remember exactly what happened, Marlena... I know why I couldn't reach the call bell."
On to Chapter 9