SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE by Robert Palmer
What in the
*hell* was he going to do now that they'd made love? They'd embarked on an
illicit affair, something he swore he would never do. That was why he tried to
leave town, but THAT didn't happen. In his mind, he decided to let her go, but
his heart wouldn't allow it. On the contrary, they were SO far from it. And
now, he wanted her like never before.
She
compromised my principles, yea yea...
John
was watching her from a distance. She was with Roman and Sami at Johnny
Angel's, drinking a cup of coffee, laughing, smiling... her arm draped
comfortably around her husband. 'I used to be her husband... in another life...
*his* life!' he mused, feeling the pain all over again. Sometimes it was still
incomprehensible to him that it could have actually happened. It was like
something out of one those elaborate, convoluted plots in the spy novels he
sometimes read. Kidnapped by a madman, his mind ravaged, all his memories
stripped way, false ones planted in their place. Then several years spent
living a life that was never his to own, sharing a home and family with a woman
who didn't belong to him. John's heart told him that it was HIS wife and family
and he couldn't stand it any more. It was making him crazy.
That
kind of love is mythical...
It
just wasn't fair! Stefano had taken his life, given him one and then taken it
all away in the blink of an eye, the end result being that his name was John
Black once again, a name he thought he'd taken off some war memorial. Was it
his real name? Who even cared--all that mattered was that he wasn't Roman and
that meant he couldn't have her, not ever again. She belonged to the genuine
article. Roman Augustus Brady had her in his life, and in his bed whenever he
wanted her and John was relegated to the role of, "the other man."
She's
anything but typical...
He
couldn't get her out of his thoughts. No matter what he did, no matter where he
went, Marlena was there inside his heart and in his mind. She was one of a kind
and she was in his soul.
She's
a craze you'd endorse
She's
a powerful force
You're
obliged to conform
When
there's no other course
She
used to look good to me
But,
now I find her
Simply
irresistible...
As he
sat there burning with desire and fighting the impulse to expose their love
affair, his mind scrambled for yet another reason for them to get together...
he would do almost anything at this point, just to have a few moments alone
with her. Grasping at straws, he fixed on something, 'Carrie... yea.. that's it
Carrie needs us right now..' Suddenly realizing it was wrong, he chastised
himself for even thinking that way, 'No.. Stop it, John... you can't use the
kids to stay close to Doc.. it's just not right... but what can I do? I gotta
find a way to be with her!'
Simply
irresistible...
Her
lovin' is so powerful, huh
It's
simply unavoidable...
The
fantasies were becoming more and more detailed and he could almost feel her
hands touching him, her delicate naked skin next to his. Strawberries and
cream. "Roman.. oh, Roman.," she had cried out in intense pleasure...
'Oh, baby... I want to be with you like that again!' It seemed SO real when he
imagined that scene.....He kept telling himself he had to let her go... but he
was at the point that he was essentially aroused by the slightest glimpse of
her golden haired beauty... that smile... and her eyes.. Oh, how he loved to
gaze into her shining eyes...
The
woman is invincible...
'She's
an amazing woman. Nothing stops her.. she's trying to move on... why can't I?
Because..you still love her... and she's in your soul, that's why...' Glancing over toward her
again, he thought 'She's so strong... where is my strength of character...
what ever happened to that? 'Well, John....it burned up in the heat of the
forbidden love we made three weeks ago now.... on her wedding anniversary, for
God's sake! He felt sick about that, he didn't want Roman to be hurt.
Watching the man, thinking how he would feel if he found out, John said internally,
'I'm sorry...but.. when she came to the plane to say goodbye... I couldn't
stop myself, I just.. couldn't!'
She's
a natural law
And
she leaves me in awe
I
surrender because
She
used to look good to me
But,
now I find her
Simply
irresistible...
No
matter what he tried, to get her off of his mind, the smallest things would
remind him and he was right back where he started. He had to admit to himself
that he was literally obsessed with Marlena, and being with her was the one
driving force in his life at the moment; it was what kept him breathing. What a
sweet obsession it was.
Simply
irresistible...
There's
no tellin' where the money went...
"Oh,
Doc... I want you... I need you... come to me, baby," he was calling out
to her spirit, praying she would sense his calling. 'I've got to find a way
to convince her to leave him. Remembering that incredible night of ecstasy
on the plane, he said to himself, 'I *know* she loves me more. She would
never have made love to me that way if she didn't,' he told himself,
denying her love for the other man, the one who had all the rights.
Simply
irresistible...
She's
all mine
There's
no other way to go...
Again, his
internal dialogue brought him back to the harsh reality he faced, 'No.. you
don't want to ruin her family... Think of the kids, John... think of the kids!
You promised her you would let go.... When they were apart, he worked so
hard at it.. but every time he saw her.. the promises faded away in light of
her mystical power over him, a power she didn't even know she possessed, something that made it even more difficult.
It was all so completely natural to her.
She wasn't trying to keep him tied to her, was she?
She's
unavoidable, I'm backed against the wall
She
gives me feelings like I've never felt before
I'm
breaking promises, she's breaking every law...
Finally,
after a day or so, he managed to force her image and thoughts of being with
her, from his mind's eye for an hour or two at a time. He was feeling pretty
good about that accomplishment as he headed to Titan to see Victor about the
plans for Bella magazine. But, there she was again. It was simply unavoidable.
John couldn't walk away without seeing her without talking to her. Even as he
approached her, he knew he was soon going to be controlled by his aching
desire.
She
used to look good to me
But
now I find her
Simply
irresistible...
Marlena
was wearing a tailored suit that looked as though it were designed especially
to fit her shapely curves and the color; that was perfect too. 'Ooh, and
she's wearing that same perfume... Oh... Lord.. give me strength!’ he
muttered under his breath as she approached him.
She's
so fine
There's no
tellin' where the money went......
"Uh...
hi, Doc... I didn't know you'd be here... how are you?" he said with an
awkward smile.
"Yes
you did... you must have forgotten...this meeting has been scheduled for weeks
now, John," she replied, thinking he didn't usually forget about things
like that.
Weeks?
If it happened in the past three, he wouldn't recall. These days he was lucky
if he had his car keys in hand and left the loft with socks and shoes on his
feet. His mind was in such a lovesick fog, ever since their intimate encounter
on that dark and stormy night. He still couldn't believe it-making love with
amazing intensity on the sofa inside a private jet. "Oh... yea.. I guess I
did... well, it's.. nice to see you, Marlena." His eyes were filled with
the memories that were forever burned into his brain, and she read the smoldering
expression he was broadcasting.
Simply
irresistible
She's
all mine.
Marlena
shot him a warning glance and that was all it took... She was always so sexy
when she was angry; he wanted her madly, he had to find a way. 'No, stop it,
John... she wants it to end... you can't hurt her that way. But what about me?
'I need her!'
There's
no other way to go
Simply
irresistible...........
"It's
nice to see you too, John... it's been awhile, hasn't it?" Marlena said
for the benefit of the others in the room. She regretted leaving him an opening
when she saw his slightly lustful smile.
Leaning
closer and lowering his voice, he answered truthfully, "Oh.. yea... too
long, Doc... much too long for me..." He winced when the words left his
mouth, her eyes piercing him with a threat this time... 'Watch it buster...
don't you "dare" try anything with me today... I'm on guard.' Finally, she said something, "Well, you
know... Roman and I have been so busy lately... we just haven't had the time
we'd like to for our.. friends."
John winced
again. 'Friends... Ouch... that one stung,' as intended. She was
distancing him. Not that he blamed her after his appearance at Chez Vous with
Rebecca; he'd shown up on purpose just
to be near her and she was distinctly offended by that act of bold pursuit.
Guiltily, he confessed it later that day. "Yea... I know how that is...
there's never enough time, is there?" She moved on with small talk about
the hospital, the kids. anything to avoid an in depth conversation in which
their feelings might come up.
Her
methods are inscrutable...
'Well,
here we are... reduced to meaningless
small talk... when there is so much more we need to say... How nice for
everyone,' he thought,
wishing he could express his sarcasm out loud. Instead, he said, "Well, I
was just on my way to see Victor for a moment, if you'll excuse me... " It
was all he could do to restrain himself for this long, and he knew he had to
get out of there before he acted on his impulses in full view of several witnesses,
before he took her in his arms and kissed her with the fiery passion that
burned inside him. Now, that would be an unmitigated disaster.
The
proof is irrefutable...
They
they were, deeply in love but unable to speak of it any longer, separated
because the other man returned to claim her, snatching her from his longing
grasp before he could regain his balance after *her* return. 'Dammit! What
am I gonna do now... I LOVE her and I need her like I never have before.'
She's
so completely kissable
Our lives
are indivisible, yea yea...
How was he
supposed to sever all ties, now after they had kissed so passionately, then
made the most magical, mystical love he could ever have imagined. It was better
than the most vivid of fantasies and he was drawn to her like a moth to the
flame. John simply had to get near the heat, no matter the risk involved. He
was compelled.
She's
a craze you'd endorse
She's
a powerful force.......
He waited
until all the other board members had gone, knowing she was still inside, and
then he made his reappearance.
Their
eyes met and lingered, then scanned their surroundings, exchanging the meaning
of the moment. It was the same board room. Could it happen again? he was asking
her without words as he edged himself ever closer.
She
answered that unspoken question quite firmly, "No, John.... it's NEVER
going to happen again." However, her eyes and her body were clearly having
a hard time going along with the program.
John
sensed it and advanced slowly, his body already responding to her beauty, the
anticipation of touching her soft alabaster skin driving his desire to a near
frantic state. His breath left him for a moment, as he saw her ire, which was
mixed with that same flaming desire.
"No,
John.... it's over... we both know that's the way it has to be," she said
only slightly more convincingly, as she started backing away and toward the
door.
"Do
we, Doc? Then why do you still look at me that way? Why are we both still
standing here?" he said confidently, challenging her to prove her assertion,
following her movements closely as he narrowed the gap between them.
Shaking
her head in frustration, she stopped and said, "Oh... you're so sure of
yourself, aren't you? Well, I am leaving, John and you better not try to do
anything to stop me," she warned as she brushed past him... glaring at him
as their clothes made brief contact because he leaned in to make it happen.
Raising
his hands in the air as a defensive gesture, he said, "Not me... I don't
want you to do anything you don't...want to do.. but I don't think it's really
over between us... Quite the opposite actually...it'll never be over, Doc..
" He lowered his voice and said in a passionate whisper, "You want
me... as much as I want you... that'll never change... And when you're lying in
bed at night... staring up at the ceiling... it's my face you're gonna see, my
body you'll wish was lying there next to you after making love... I have time
on my side and I can wait."
He
was making her very angry now. Just who did he think he was, so cocky, so
convinced of his power over her? "Well, you're going to be waiting a very
long time, John... I've made my choice... I'm committed to my marriage... to
Roman. I suggest you find a way to move on. This.... lewd behavior doesn't
become you, *John.*
It was
almost like she was stabbing him with the name, one he was still getting used
to, almost a year later. She'd made her point quite effectively; he could never
have her because he wasn't Roman Brady. For the first time, his outwardly
confident, self-assured demeanor vanished, replaced by an expression of dull
aching sadness and a soul deep vulnerability that touched her heart. Dropping
his head, feeling ashamed, he said, "Yea... I..uh I.. guess you're right,
Doc... I'm sorry.. I've been acting very selfishly... Anyway... I'm sorry.. I
won't bother you again, Marlena." His ego deflated, he turned to leave
her, as tears of grief filled his melancholy blue eyes.
You're
obliged to conform
When
there's no other course
Well,
she used to look good to me
But
now I find her
Simply
Irresistible...
Now, she felt
bad for him. He looked so wounded, so defeated and she wanted to make him feel
better. "John.... I'm sorry too.. I do...love you and if things
were...."
With
a weak smile, he gently cut her off and finished the thought, reaching out a
hand to brush her cheek as he said it for her, "If things were
different... yea, I know...." John paused to memorize her beauty, then he
gazed into her glistening hazel eyes one last time and said with tenderness, "I'm
always gonna love you, Doc... Goodbye..."
She's
so fine
There's
no telling where the money went…
As
his eyes happened to catch a glance at the Rolex on his wrist, he had a sudden
thought about the money and how he'd give up every cent of it if he could just
have a chance at winning her heart. He'd spend it all on her, lavishing
extravagant gifts upon her if she'd let him, but neither of those alternatives
would ever happen. Her heart belonged to the one and only, Roman Brady, the
great love of her life. No matter how many times he wished or dreamed or
fantasized about being with her, being in love, being married to her, the fact
of the matter was she would never be his again.
John
Black was just an also ran.
She's
all mine
There's
no other way to go
There
were no more words she could say that would help. They had no other choice but
to say goodbye, she had no other choice, or did she? Marlena felt like a part
of her was dying, her heart aching with indescribable pain as she watched him
go. Shutting her eyes, she labored to force the images of their lovemaking and
the time they had together as husband and wife into the farthest recesses of
her mind. Her attempt failed miserably. Who was she fooling anyway? It wasn't
easy for her to resist him either, not by any stretch of the imagination. In
many ways, John was like a drug she could never get enough of. It was unlawful,
forbidden and SO enticing.
The
fact of the matter was being intimate with John, loving him the way that she
did was…
Simply
Irresistible...